I don't recall the first day I felt anxiety. I wish I could nail it down to a particular day, or an incident. An origin story would be great! What I do remember is just feeling a bit off in my late teens and early 20s. I recall one night waking my mother up in the middle of the night because I couldn't feel my hands. Of course, I assumed I was having a stroke, and this made the panic attack so much worse. Fun filled trip to the ER in my home town and a very late night for my mother and I. I was released in the morning with no definite answer as to what happened. Life goes on.
I didn't have a bad childhood, I had a great one! So no horrible stories about bad parents or traumatic experiences there. My parents are great people, two of my best friends, and did the best they could. I am lucky that they both try their best to understand me and this whole anxiety thing. I imagine it is difficult at times for a parent to watch their daughter go through days she can't even think about leaving the house. Having a fantastic support system with my family makes me the luckiest girl in the world.
I continued on, normal young adult activities, partying, working, school, partying and a whole lot of sleeping. Feeling pretty normal, for the most part. It wasn't until my mid to late 20s that it came back in full force. I was living in a party town, and got myself into less than healthy situations. Wrong people, wrong scene, a horrendous relationship, unhealthy habits, substance abuse, and anxiety attacks became a regular part of my life. At the time it was always easy to blame it on one or all of the mentioned excuses. I finally recognized that I needed to get out of my current situation, and thanks to my amazing family, I was onto bigger and better things.
Fast forward to now, I am still dealing with anxiety on a daily basis. Some days are far far worse than others. Some days, it is all I can do to get out of bed. Thank goodness for movie marathons and video games! I have tried to change my view on these days and not make them a necessarily negative thing. Sometimes, I just need some me time and to disconnect. There is no "curing" or "getting over" anxiety, it is more about recognizing what works for you, and accepting that it is a part of who you are. It is also about having an amazing support group. I now surround myself with people who understand, and accept me for who I am. I don't have time for people who would want to change me, or make me feel like there is something wrong with me.
There we have a bit of a background story. I think it really shows that anxiety and depression can happen to anyone. You don't have to come from a bad home, or have something truly traumatic happen in your life. It is the same as any other illness, it doesn't discriminate, and it can hit at anytime. I don't like using the term illness, even though that is very much what it is. My anxiety also makes me a great friend, loyal, empathetic, thoughtful and loving. I try to focus on those positives. In a way, I just wouldn't be me without anxiety.
I didn't have a bad childhood, I had a great one! So no horrible stories about bad parents or traumatic experiences there. My parents are great people, two of my best friends, and did the best they could. I am lucky that they both try their best to understand me and this whole anxiety thing. I imagine it is difficult at times for a parent to watch their daughter go through days she can't even think about leaving the house. Having a fantastic support system with my family makes me the luckiest girl in the world.
I continued on, normal young adult activities, partying, working, school, partying and a whole lot of sleeping. Feeling pretty normal, for the most part. It wasn't until my mid to late 20s that it came back in full force. I was living in a party town, and got myself into less than healthy situations. Wrong people, wrong scene, a horrendous relationship, unhealthy habits, substance abuse, and anxiety attacks became a regular part of my life. At the time it was always easy to blame it on one or all of the mentioned excuses. I finally recognized that I needed to get out of my current situation, and thanks to my amazing family, I was onto bigger and better things.
Fast forward to now, I am still dealing with anxiety on a daily basis. Some days are far far worse than others. Some days, it is all I can do to get out of bed. Thank goodness for movie marathons and video games! I have tried to change my view on these days and not make them a necessarily negative thing. Sometimes, I just need some me time and to disconnect. There is no "curing" or "getting over" anxiety, it is more about recognizing what works for you, and accepting that it is a part of who you are. It is also about having an amazing support group. I now surround myself with people who understand, and accept me for who I am. I don't have time for people who would want to change me, or make me feel like there is something wrong with me.
There we have a bit of a background story. I think it really shows that anxiety and depression can happen to anyone. You don't have to come from a bad home, or have something truly traumatic happen in your life. It is the same as any other illness, it doesn't discriminate, and it can hit at anytime. I don't like using the term illness, even though that is very much what it is. My anxiety also makes me a great friend, loyal, empathetic, thoughtful and loving. I try to focus on those positives. In a way, I just wouldn't be me without anxiety.