- WE OFTEN HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS WRONG. More often than not, we just have it. There isn't a rational explanation, it just is. Asking us repeatedly what is wrong, or telling us to relax is counterproductive. If it were as easy as switching a relax button I would have flipped that baby years ago, permanently. Being there is enough.
- Sometimes we know exactly what is triggering us. For myself, large crowds is a big one. I get that concerts and clubs are supposed to be a good time. For me, this is hell. Perfect example was a street party I attended this week. Thousands were in attendance. I lasted about 10 minutes before finding a quiet restaurant with a friend and then returning to the safety of my house. Don't make us do things we know we are going to hate, and don't take it personally that we don't want to go to a rave with you. (Also, my hell) WE DO HAVE TRIGGERS.
- WE ARE NOT LAZY. Ok, this one is not entirely true all the time for myself. I do enjoy a 7 hour binge of my favourite show from time to time. Sometimes though, I am not staying at home because I just want to laze around, sometimes it is just too much for me. Grocery shopping is a good example for me. I hate it. I love food, but I flipping hate the grocery store. The small talk, the humans, the parking, the humans....I hate all of it. So I often opt for delivery several days in a row to avoid the hell that is the grocery store.
- I AM FLAKEY. Yes, I said it, and I own it. I will make plans with you, and the day I wake up I might decide that there is a better chance of me getting a pet monkey than there is I will make it to your party. This does not mean I don't love you, or that I don't want to be invited. Don't take me off your invite lists, intact not inviting me give me even worse anxiety. I don't make plans with the intention of breaking them, but some days are just better than others. Again, don't take it personally.
- I AM VERY SOCIAL ON MY GOOD DAYS. I've had a couple people message me saying they had no idea that I had anxiety. I have only really become very open about my anxiety in the last few years. Prior to that, only my nearest and dearest knew my private struggle. Many people know me as a very social person, that is because on my fantastic days there is nothing I would love to do more than hit up a party with a few friends.
- ANXIETY CAN BE PHYSICALLY PAINFUL. I get tension headaches quite frequently, and these are directly connected to my anxiety. I also get nauseous sometimes, and if it is really bad I sometimes throw up. Do people throw up more as they get older? I feel like it becomes more often very year. Insomnia and irregular sleep is a huge one. I can sleep for days, or I can get by on very little, and I never know what each night will bring. There are many other effects other people experience as well.
- EXERCISE DOES NOT FIX EVERYTHING. We all know these people. Shoving exercise and gyms down my throat every chance they get. Go to the gym they said, it will be fun they said. I believe I mentioned some days it is hard to even get out of bed, so heading off to they gym with a bunch of strangers is pretty unlikely to be on my list of things to do. Gyms, just like crowds, are hell. I do agree that a good hike, or a nice long bike ride can be quite enjoyable and helps in the short term. With clinical anxiety, however, this is not the end all cure. Condescending speeches about getting out there just make me kinda wanna slap you.
- YES, I DO TAKE MEDICATION. NO, I WON'T STOP. There is no cure for mental health issues. My medication is not like a round of penicillin that in 10 days will allow me to just be fixed up as good as new. Posts from people who have jumped on the bandwagon of taking down big pharmaceuticals, and how depression medication is actually making things worse can just zip it. Medication may have saved my life. Don't get me wrong, it took some trial and error to find the right one, but well worth the ridiculous initial side effects in the long run.
- YES I AM GOING TO STAY IN MY PYJAMAS ALL DAY. Some days it just has to be done. Guess what? I actually enjoy these days. Don't make me feel bad about just wanting to be a home-body. On the bright side, if you ever need a movie or television show review, I am your go-to girl. Grab some snacks, come on over and make a fort with me.
- ALL I WANT IS A LITTLE BIT OF PATIENCE AND UNDERSTANDING. We all have faults and personality quirks. Before you judge me, or jump to conclusions take a good long look at yourself. All I require from you is an open mind, patience and acceptance. I know I am not perfect, none of us are. I work on myself and take steps towards improvement every single day.